Wedding Tips: Ways to Love Your Fiance
I totally get it, wedding planning can be a stressful time for couples, complicated all the more when you can’t agree on something. Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in the whole planning process that we forget to love each other. The main thing is to remember why you’re having this wedding in the first place: you want to spend the rest of your lives together. In the end, it’s not about the flower arrangements or cake flavors. It’s about your love and commitment to each other. Below, we’ve compiled a list of ways for you to continue loving your fiancé through all the planning madness and to make sure he or she feels it:
Share your thoughts early
Get his or her honest opinion and thoughts on your wedding day early in the game so you know what he or she is expecting. Likewise, tell him or her your thoughts about your wedding. See where you have similar ideas and where you differ, and keep this in mind as you continue with your planning. Knowing ahead of time what he or she envisions for your wedding day may help you in your overall planning and keep any surprises at bay.
Take him or her seriously
It’s more than just asking him or her what he or she thinks and then tossing that aside. Take the time to really consider them. If you have two differing thoughts, try to find a compromise. Try to find a way to work in what he or she wants. Many men haven’t thought about their wedding day from the time they were eight like some girls do, so when the time comes for him to start making decisions, keep in mind that this could be the first time he gets to care about and visualize these things.
‘Pick your battles’
You’ve heard this one before, and it’s true. You want it to be ‘our’ day, not ‘your’ day. Your partner will see that throughout the day as he or she looks around and sees all the choices the two of you made together. Find things that may not be a priority for you and do them your partner's way.
Let him or her take ownership
Let him or her control an aspect of the wedding that he or she is interested in. Choose something like the transportation or the bar and give them complete authority over it. That way they'll be happy and when people compliment it at the wedding, he or she can have pride in knowing they made that happen.
Final Pick
This option worked well for my associate when she was wedding planning. Her fiance (now husband) didn’t have a strong opinion on most items. So, when she would narrow it down to her favorites, she’d ask which one he liked better. He didn’t feel comfortable making the ultimate decision, so she told him she just needed to know for consideration. If your partner is comfortable with it, let them make the final decision after you narrow it down. This will render his or her opinion important, and you will still end up with something you love.
Give them a break
Most men really aren’t that interested in wedding planning, and some women aren't either. If this is your fiancé, don’t get mad when he or she doesn’t care about things like napkin colors. Understand that while you may be into every detail, they may be more concerned with the big event and the wedding as a whole.
Stay calm
Try to remain calm as you go through this process. Whether your partner is refusing to help you at all or bugging the bejesus out of you with his request for camo everything, try to stay calm. Yelling or fighting about a wedding detail seldom makes planning any easier and probably won’t change anyone’s minds. Try to use reason and communication. Being calm makes the whole process much more fun, rather than being stressed the whole time.
Make time for them
If you aren’t doing a lot of the planning together, try to make time for your partner. Don’t let the wedding take up all your free time. Spend a day together doing fun, non-wedding things and relax.
On that same note...
Have conversations about things other than the wedding. When you’re in the middle of planning a big event, it can be all that’s on your mind. Try to have conversations with your fiancé about something other than what type of music should play during the cocktail hour, or worrying over the seating chart. Not only will it add some relief to your brain, but will show your partner that you still care about them and the future you're building more than the party celebrating that love.
On your wedding day
Love note
Write your partner a letter detailing why you love them and can’t wait to spend the rest of your lives together. Have it sent to his or her room while he or she is getting ready.
Boudoir Wedding Gift
Find a photographer *cough cough* to schedule a boudoir shoot with! Have the album or prints delivered to your partner the night before or morning of the wedding. Making time for a boudoir session is not only fun and empowering for you, but is an incredibly personal gift that your beloved will remember for the rest of their life.
Plan a moment away
Ask the venue coordinator if there’s a spot that the two of you can hide away in after the ceremony. Skip the receiving line and spend a few moments together to take it all in, maybe with a glass of bubbly or beer in hand!
Plan a special breakfast
If you’re partner is staying at a hotel the night before your wedding, have a special breakfast sent to them room the morning of. You can include their favorites and a special note saying how excited you are. Or, if the two of you are planning on seeing each other before the ceremony and will be getting ready together, start your day nice and easy with a quiet breakfast for two sipping on your favorite coffee or tea and relaxing beforehand.
Leave some goodies
If you have access to where your partner is getting ready, leave a basket of goodies for him or her and the groomsmen or bridesmaids to find when they arrive.
Have a First Look
Before the ceremony, schedule a first look so you and your partner have a private moment to love on each other, relieve some pre-wedding jitters, and laugh, cry, and kiss. So many times, one partner or the other may be a bit reserved and won't want to show a lot of emotion in front of all your wedding guests when you walk down the aisle. A First Look provides a quiet, safe, and relaxing space to show your emotions and connect with one another before you go surround yourself with all your guests.
Garter for him
Get your toss garter in his favorite team colors, covered in camo or plastered with the John Deere logo, whatever he’s into. He'll be delighted when he goes to find your garter and sees this!
Groom's cake
They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Feed the beast!
No matter which suggestions you take, or don’t take, just remember to keep loving your fiancé during your wedding planning. Let him or her know that he or she matters and the love you two share is most important to you. If you think you may have gotten a little obsessed with the planning (which isn't necessarily a bad thing), be kind to yourself as well and know that your partner loves you a whole bunch and they've probably already forgiven you for getting caught up. You're planning the best adventure of your lives so far, after all. No shame in wanting it to be incredible!
Wishing you all the happiness and love,
Kate
